Many fathers break their daughter’s heart long before any man ever could. And that forms the basis of every romantic relationship she enters into. 

Ever wondered why am I attracting the wrong men in my life?

Men who promise me the world but give me crumbs? Emotionally Unavailable Men who are ready for anything but to commit? Men who leave me on read or ghost me the second I drop them hints that I want something serious??

As children our parents are the gods of our universe. Every interaction and experience with them, creates the lens through which we perceive reality. In the eyes of a child the parent is always right. 

The father is the first and most important masculine figure in every child’s life. The initial experiences with the father during the developing phases of our life decides the blueprint for our lifelong relationship with Masculine Energy. 

The need for validation is a biological need of a child. If that need of ours is not met as children we go seeking validation outside from the external reality by other people especially our romantic interests or from the people who we look up to. 

In regards to father wounds, a woman will literally do EVERYTHING in order to get that validation from her romantic partner if her father did not validate her emotions as a little girl. She will endlessly chase him, become his maid, won’t mind being treated as a doormat and even accept abuse on emotional, mental and sometimes on a physical level as well. 

When the primal need for love, affection, attention and a sense of safety be it emotionally, mentally or physically is compromised i.e not met by the father she will go seeking it in all the wrong places. Because that is how her brain perceives love. She will happily give her love interest not just her body but also her soul in order to avoid the risk of facing abandonment. 

That is because in her early experiences as a girl

 Love = Abandonment/ Betrayal/ Abuse or all of the three. 

The absence of healthy father figures is increasing day by day. And by that I mean, Father’s who embody healthy masculine traits of positive ownership, accountability, reliability, protection and provision. Father’s who are actually there for their children, who love and adore not just the child but also respect the wife; who is also the mother. 

Many believe that if the father is physically present in the child’s life there is no way that she/he would have father wounds. As humans we always think in terms of black and white. We forget to consider the fact that the colour grey does exist. So we think that either the father must be dead or is living in a foreign country or is physically abusive to qualify ourselves or others to have daddy issues. 

Like I said, the lack of men who are aligned with their masculinity is rising day by day so it is not a rare occurrence for many to have father wounds. In fact it is very unlikely for people to not have it in some form or the other but in varying degrees. 

But what do you do when love feels like Abandonment or Betrayal or Abuse?

As obvious as this seems and it is no secret! 

Healing is the keyword. Honestly, I don’t want to sound like a self-proclaimed guru nor do I have a PhD in clinical psychology. But what I do know is the fact that the initial trauma by the masculine (father) needs to be healed in order to attract a healthy masculine partner in your life. 

And for that you need to be aware of the father wound that you have within you. 

Once you have an awareness of your unhealthy patterns only then can you do something about it. 

Inner child healing is where your focus needs to be to heal deep childhood wounds.

 Comforting the little girl within you who was once abandoned, betrayed, abused by daddy is the key for healing your father wounds. Giving her the love, care, nourishment, affection and the safety that she needed back then and always being there for her no matter how difficult things get. Containing her within yourself, holding onto her and offering her your unconditional presence is all that she needs. 

Lastly, you deserve to have a love that is freeing yet peaceful, not chaotic or painful. Remind yourself of your worthiness not only as women but also as a human. And that can only happen when you start believing it. Seeing your inner beauty, your magnificence and what a wonderful being you truly are!

 You are worthy of not just the moon and stars but the entire galaxy! 

You deserve to have the entire cake, please don’t settle for crumbs!