Are Traditional Gender roles Underrated?

Once upon a time, there lived a man who worked really very hard. He provided, protected his family and worked 12 hours a day. His woman cooked, cleaned, took care of their kids. Even though he came home late, his woman never complained, she had a huge smile on her face when she opened the door. This motivated the man and he worked harder. Their chemistry increased with time. Days passed by, their kids grew up. They admired their mother, father and looked up to them. The kids became Man and Woman. They got married. And they did the same. The old couple became grandparents, thus lived happily ever after…

Moral of the story!

In today’s modern world, traditional gender roles are absolutely underrated! In fact, they are endangered. They need to be embraced or else it is the fall of humanity.

You must be wondering, Oh My God Akanksha! You’re so orthodox. Your beliefs are so outdated! This is not what I signed up for! I am gonna unsubscribe right now!

But guess what? This is a stereotypical response that I hear whenever I dare share my opinion about the traditional gender roles between the Masculine and Feminine. And this is what inspired me to write this blog post.

Since the start of the radical feminist movement, gender roles have taken a huge toss. What started as a noble cause for the liberation of women in considering them equals and giving them equal rights as to men has taken a completely different turn right now.

Being a woman myself, I have a great amount of empathy for all the women who suffered massively from patriarchal constructs. And I wholeheartedly believe that the Feminist Movement was very much necessary. Just like all the movements that took place for freedom worldwide.

But now looking back, I realise that it has done more harm than good. Not just for women but also men.

Here’s why!

Modern Society has literally nullified gender roles. There is no gender distinction whatsoever. There’s no doubt that women can do everything that men can and vice versa but this is not how human biology works. Though your determination is at an all time high, your body has different needs and wants. And it will respond in ways you may not like if those needs are not meant!

Since women started going for jobs there has being a huge upsurge in health issues, for both women and men. Women have started suffering from hormonal issues like PCOD, PCOS, Irregular Periods etc, unlike the previous generations. The most alarming one is Infertility. Working-class women are at a major risk, especially to Infertility. Not to forget the mental health issues that are increasing day by day caused by immense stress due to a host of reasons. The major one being relationship issues. Here are some problems faced by modern men as well. All these problems are just the tip of the iceberg!

The roles, duties, values of men and women have heavily changed. What was considered normal 70 years back is looked down upon even the positive attributes. Little do we understand those constructs have been working for aeons that have been well established and stood the test of time. And in no ways am I advocating for all the cruelty that women suffered due to toxic patriarchy. Here I am talking about the benefits that both Men and Women enjoyed due to fully embracing their Masculinity and Femininity respectively. That we today in this modern world find it very difficult to. Because men are acting like women and women are acting like men. A complete clash of both the masculine and feminine energies. Which is conducive for none rather detrimental for both.

A brief history on Masculinity & Femininity

Since hunter-gatherers’ time men have been wired to provide and protect for the tribe i.e family. They had to hunt, fight against dangerous predators and provide food for their family. That is why men have a strong built, big muscles and technically have a bigger heart as compared to that women. They had to go in the wild thus they developed a bigger body frame. They had to be rational, logical and practical while looking for prey. They also had to compete with other men as to who is the strongest and can provide, protect and thus look after the women and the family.

Women on the other hand had to cook, clean and look after the kids. Hence girls mature faster and hit puberty early. Women thus developed soft nurturing skills. Kids need to be handled with love and care. They needed to feed their kid in creative ways, be patient, loving and intuitive so as to attune to the child’s needs. That is why women have this warm, sweet, nurturing energy.

This is just a physical aspect of how and why human biology works the way it does in regards to the masculine and feminine from a human point of view.

But Masculinity and Femininity are much more than that.

Though we are souls and souls don’t have a specified gender. We opt into a gender, a male or a female body. Each gender has a set of special attributes, strengths and weaknesses that complement each other and work harmoniously when in unison. Much like Ying and Yang. That is when Masculinity and Femininity in regards to energy come into play.

The Masculine is logical, rational, practical. Masculine energy is like a straight moving arrow.

On the other hand, the Feminine is intuitive, playful, nurturing. Feminine energy acts as a free-flowing stream of water.

Masculinity and Femininity is the sacred dance of Polarity.

Just like Shiv and Shakti.

Both are energies at their core. And they are polar opposites. One cannot exist without the other. The feminine creates and the masculine sustains. One nurtures and the other protects. Both need to work in balance to create harmony. Or else there is chaos and destruction.

To make it look more sense, the traditional gender roles of Men being providers, protectors and Women being nurturers have been perfectly designed to complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Where one lacks, the other fills in the gap and vice versa.

But the media portrays otherwise. They show masculinity as toxic and femininity as weak.

It is no secret that women all around the world were tortured and not given privileges as that men. They were considered mere objects and were told that their only role in life is that of being a mother, daughter and wife. And that is what they are born for. No wonder, the rage in women was so intense that it lead to the massive feminine revolution. That has eradicated old paradigms and turned the tables for gender roles completely!

As human beings, we all have the right and freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want. The modern liberation movement has given everyone the freedom of choice. Women may work as long as they like, men can be stay at home dads.

My question is,

• Why are we ashamed for wanting to embrace our Femininity and Masculinity?

• Why is it that young girls are encouraged to be tough and young boys are told that masculinity is toxic?

• Why is it that women who want to be mothers and have families are looked down upon and men who want to provide and protect are considered losers?

• Why is it unacceptable and a total shock for society if men and women want to hone traditional roles?

Is this what feminism is all about? To bash men for wanting to be men and shame women for wanting to be women?

Not all men are toxic. Nor is masculinity toxic.

But do you know what really is Toxic?

Ignorance, unawareness, limiting beliefs and mindset are.

A hundred years back women were shamed, looked down upon for having a job, their own money and being unmarried but now it is the opposite. What really is “right” then?

It is just a matter of perception, peer pressure and generational trends!

Traditional gender roles today have become so blurred that it has not only caused a host of health issues for both but also a loss in sexual chemistry. Since there is no line between the roles that men and women are supposed to do and everyone is doing everything be it cooking, cleaning, paying the bills, looking after the kids, managing life, taking care of themselves as well of the partners needs, their emotional needs, your emotional needs, their physical needs, your physical needs etc. There is no time for genuine intimacy. Chemistry has ceased to exist. Since men today has become less masculine and more feminine on the other hand women have become more masculine and less feminine.

Masculinity and Feminity are Polar Energies. This means they are not equal in fact they are polar opposites. (That is why they complement each other)

And what do we know about magnets? Opposite attracts opposite. A lack of polarity means a lack of real connection and chemistry, hence the constant fights, emasculation of men, women being over-worked, power struggle, infidelity, manipulation etc. No wonder, divorce rates have skyrocketed!

On the contrary modern men and women who are looking for traditional partners need to also accept traditional roles.

Men, It is totally delusional for you to want freshly prepared home-cooked meals, a clean & tidy home environment, laundry & dishes done and a woman to submit to you if you do not do what the traditionally masculine man does, i.e provide, protect, create safety within the relationship, take responsibility and positive ownership.

Women, It is quite unfair of you to want a man who looks after you, pays the bills, take care of your needs yet all you ever do is refuse to let him lead, nag him, disrespect him, do not trust his leadership abilities and emasculate him.

Because traditional men go for traditional women and vice versa. Birds of the same feather flock together.

It is not just women who suffered due to toxic patriarchy but also men. They too have lost touch with their masculinity just like women are waking up to their femininity.

That being said, our ancestors were wise enough to fixate men and women to the best of their abilities and provide them jobs accordingly. Who said we cannot have the best of both worlds? Why discard the time tested age-old ancient wisdom of Masculine and Feminine archetypes. When we can clearly see that the “modern societal construct” is diluting gender roles and doing more harm than good. All we are doing is creating a society that lacks beauty, depth, uniqueness, softness and that is completely unsafe not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.

It is high time that we look around with our eyes wide open and start questioning the very basis of our existence, the role that we are playing of men and women. And is it actually benefiting us in the long run? You owe this not just to yourself but also to your children, grandchildren and the coming future generations.

Let’s make traditional gender roles a norm once again!